Dying in there

I'm rather upset by these 2 weeks of lab results.

When my Western blot came up with nice bands 2 days ago, i thought my luck had reversed. but subsequent proteins cant be detected anymore. i'm damn lost at what to do next. what i'm doing now is only to redo the whole cycle, again and again. cos i duno what went wrong, cos by right should have.

e.g. i'm testing for cell cycle, thus, detecting for cyclins. HOW CAN I NOT DETECT ANY CYCLINS IN MY CELLS?? like cells should ALL be expressing cyclins, just to different extent.

okiez tt's the summary.

feeling down after i "finished" what i'm supposed to do today at lab. i wanted to sms LC to 倾诉 but in the end, decided not to. i've been repeating my things to ppl who've been asking me "how's ur FYP" and and then i got suggestions which i've already tried or i noe wun work. it's really good to here that frenz are still there trying to encourage me and telling me to do this and that but sometimes, i dun feel like hearing those anymore.

i just want my sup to come back.

anyway i've arranged a meeting with her on Monday 2pm when she's back in the lab. I'm really looking forward to this meeting. at least then, i really have somebody who knows wat to do and wat went wrong, hopefully. or at least try to gear my project towards something which can be done within 1 more month.

can somebody take over my FYP and airmail me to ermz... a small little cottage in... Hokkaido?

woah.

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anyway i've been down with cough and cold. my cold was "cured" by antibiotics which again I went to the same GP who never fails to give me antibiotics. haha! (i'm the 33% of patient population who loves antibiotics) but at least i noe it's a relapse and it should be bacterial and so antibiotics is the suitable therapy wad.

and my cough since young, can never be cured fully by western med. so i heeded Peiting's father's advice to buy 夏桑菊 from the Medical Hall. It works quite well. but have to really drink faithfully, cos TCM effect is quite slow to kick in. it's quite cheap, $1.40 for 20 sachets. and i'm drinking around 3 sachets per day. still coughing, but not to the extent of coughing my lungs out already.

i think I quite like the combination of Western and Chinese medicine. in a way, the Western antibiotics works to eliminate the infection but the TCM kicks in to equilibrate the internal balance (pharmers, still rmb the 五脏六腑 PP3 presentations? =P ). haha

Kimage Promotion

I think all of u shd know this:


and so i went.

dye + rebond + rebond treatment + dye treatment + haircut = $338

not too bad with so many things done.
if u wan, can get the member card from me. :)

bad news: my hairstylist (Xavier) is away for 6 months cos he went to upgrade his skills. haa. today got this lady who looks quite grumpy but super 细心 in her work. not bad! but got this guy (newbie) called Kelvin who helped with the drying of hair and "ironing" of hair. painful sia~~

i've tried... not once, not twice.. but many times. this time i thought and hope that things would become more friendly, but it backfired.

but i'm not going to be sad anymore. it's not worth it.

2008

Hello!

it's a new year! I think ppl start making new year resolutions because the past year hasn't been satistory. for me, i have never seriously made any new year resolutions for the past 22 years but now, by putting it on my blog, i hope it'll help. haha.

In 2007, I was not as happy as I seem. It had been a tough year, in every aspect.

So in 2008, I'm going to:
1. Stop dreaming, start living (sounds BIG. but start with a general idea first)
2. Be happy in whatever I'm doing, even if it's cleaning the toilet. applies alot to lab work and FYP. e.g. I should keep smiling in lab. (no, i'm not gg to do that example. just cant think of a concrete example)
3, Find what I want in life (since i'm going to start work soon)
4. More time for family. Do more things for parents. Help out in family things more. e.g. buy CNY stuff without letting them buy more than 50%. and be present for ALL family outings, unless really bo bian.
5. Be more understanding and tolerant. Dun be impulsive. e.g. if friends are in a bad mood, dun be upset but try to understand what happened and empathise. dun throw a tantrum before first analysing the situation.
6. Exercise consistently like 3times a week or MINIMUM once a week. (bleah. i'll try)
7. Mug hard not for CAP but for those who need my help in the future. (sounds BIG too!). basically to still mug and be happy. e.g. to study and constantly trying to link to future work.
8. Despite busy schedule, still find it a joy to help others. e.g. dun say "i'm too busy to help" unless i really mean it. e.g. take part in at least 3 sets of voluntary work this year.
9. anything else?

anyway, it has been good food throughout 31dec and 1jan. haha! will blog more if i wan to post the pics.

to all my friends, HAPPY NEW YEAR. i hope all of u find joy in the new year!

Research

did some things wrong today again :((((((((

i think i cant do research in the future. i hate the feeling of being helpless & lonely. :((( if i were to do this long term, i can predict killing myself... haiz.

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

where's my sup..

FYP + Planet Earth

felt SUPER blur today.

my lab colleague asked me to lunch with her. told her i'll be done at 12nn so continue doing my things. BUT i duno i too gan cheong to not wait her wait so long or wat, made the wrong antibodies, not once but TWICE!!! argh. and since antibodies dilutions are not the same. i duno whether still can reuse anot. so kept them in the -20degC freezer.. -_- and we ended up lunching at 12.20 pm...

ask me abt my expt? i dun wan to explain. but. redid and confirmed the supposedly overexpression turned out to be underexpression.. haiz. redo everything from the 3rd stage (if u recall me saying my proj has a total of 4 stages). quite pressed for time. esp when my sup wanted me to do at least a duplicate.

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i'm so chui for Planet Earth. quoting my tcher: "if u can play this by march, it'll be a miracle". she's not trying to be discouraging, but it's the truth!!!!

argh.
i hate sightreading with astigmatism!

i hate tenor and treble clefs.

i hate tremolos.

i hate playing running notes on the cello, gotta swing the bow up and down.

BUT PLANET EARTH IS SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! sigh.

i better practise everyday... (ahem. i'll try)


and i'm serious:

if you've cello friends, pls ask them to go band!!!!!
we need more cellists. (5 more -_- )

bad day

okay. 2 experiments today.

1st expt: fumbled and put wrong things. den tried to salvage by pipetting out and prays that nothing happens.

2nd expt: confirmed with a confirm-will-have antibody. no protein. thus, concludes my past 1 week has been wasted on Western blotting and all the repeated washing and exposing. bleahh.

analysed results. duno why my transfection is supposed to cause overexpression but instead it shows underexpression. so what to do now? my sup is away. i'm so helpless. and she doesn't reply her emails in time.

was in lab alone. the dark room is quite scary. duno what i'll see when i switch on the lights.

i wan to go to some chilling-out sessions. and i feel like eating TCC's chicken pie.

finally 任命 to the failed experiments and went home. the 1st bus i saw passing me, i noe is 198, cos it has been a bad day. :(((((((((((((

okiez i wanted to do some work at home for my FYP. wanted to write some parts of my paper so that i can make up for the lost time (due to failed expts). den din realised my waterbottle cover was not screwed on and i liften the bottle with the cover. den..... water flooded the table and myself... heng it's not hot water. and my laptop din really kena alot...

ehhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so sad can. oh ya, and i was coughing out my lungs the whole day.

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anw i wanted to recall the LASIK experience (aka enhancement surgery):

1. i went into a changing room where a lady helped me put on the operation robe.
2. she removed my glasses and cleaned the surroundings of my eyes with iodine.
3. then she put on some eyedrops. (anasthetics i think)
4. then i was ushered onto the "bed" under the "lasik machine"
5. my doctor was there, telling me that he has programmed everything into the machine
6. next he covered my left eye with a shield and did my right eye first.
7. he told me to focus on the green light which will turn red.
8. eyedrops
9. some clamp to clamp my eyelids
10. more eyesdrops and swabbing
11. a circular thing came and he said it's the most uncomfortable part.
12. then he said "suction ready?"
13. a reply "suction on." i felt pressure on my eyes
14. and it was a short pain.
15. i saw the flab opening. then i cant see anything
16. i duno wat happen next but i can see again. then, the laser came and i was told that it's the most important part of the surgery and I MUST focus on the red light. the red light became like an angry ball of fire and there was a slight burning smell.
17. i heard "50%.... 60%... 70%... 80%... 90%... 100%..."
18. flab was closed back
19. more eye drops.
20. next eye.

wah i tink technology is very advanced. to be able to program for my case and then do the laser within seconds. i think my doctor is not bad :)