i hate this feeling

I hate last min work. and I totally hate it when other ppl's last min work affects me.

now i'm just here knowing i've sth to bia tmr and cant start now.

i'm feeling rather pissed.

"Pain"-ball Pharmleague

Paintball is quite a dangerous game to me. The bruises were quite swollen now, e.g. this one (at my tummy) got a ring of "orh-ceh" (blue-black) around it after a few hrs, the redness still there. bruised at my tummy and my scapula area, near the neck. Both with some contusion and redness.

I think... I wun wan to play again. haha. and i'm not gd at it anyway. I'm really quite blur. to be still trying to understand the game after 1 round.. oops.. but towards the end, it was still qt fun (but still dangerous)

Sick again

was having fever as high as 38plusplus and coughing my lungs out for a few days before i was diagnosed possibly pneumonia. given 2 types of antibiotics (clarithromycin and ciprofloxacin - not first line but prob due to my Penicillin allergy and being in the hospital so the doc wanted to cover pseudomonas too). my white blood cells and neutropils were like... 2 times upper limit normal (cant rmb the exact value).

realised that taking 2 antibiotics at once will cause pronounced nausea. coupled with my headache due to tea withdrawal. terribleness.

and today, found that my right little finger tendon abit weird, like got crunchy sound. gg to see tui na tmr morning.

and i've to study for board exams. asked my preceptor whether i can pause the inpatient rotation for 1 week before continuing, so that my body normal flora can grow back first.

scary right

another reason for me not to work in inpatient. i've weak immune system.

Kind soul

I haven felt so much gratitude for a long time.

I need some help for my project and approached somebody at MRO who agreed to help me with it. We dunno each other and the task would probably take him a couple of hours. And he isn't really going to gain much from this help too.

Ok maybe have to wait for the results first, if not it'll all become 一场空 if i too happy too early haha. Probably I'll buy some chocolates and drop by tmr. hehe. must 做好人 back.

Quality of Life

I think I would choose Quality of Life vs Chasing idealistic goals in my career

Besides, there are too many sacrifices I've made, and I dun hope to continue sacrificing. I've my cello which I've stopped and I wish to continue to get past my exams, hopefully until Grade 8?

I think my decision is quite made up.

Afterall, I would still be in the profession.

We, Earthlings, have only 24 hours a day. We've to choose what we want to live our lives. Not just to live up the some "expectations" of others.

GRRR

qt pissed with a patient today, wanted to rant in this entry.

so i received this discharge to dispense today at 4.30pm, read that the IMR was only received by the pharmacy at 4pm. was told to dispense this particular one first, due to the some issue that the patient was already complaining. so went to the ward to find the patient, realised that the patient was already on the way to collect the meds himself at the Satellite pharmacy. so i wanted to go down and find him, and saw that he was already on his way back to find me again (apparantly he was told by the pharmacy his meds were with me)

the first thing he said "I waited for 2 hours, and u take ur own sweet time, that ur bad habit"

stunned

me: "I dun have such a bad habit, I dun take my own sweet time" (qt a lame reply, but ya, i was super 没头没尾 about wat he accused me of)

some more grumblings from him about ME TAKING MY OWN SWEET TIME...

okay i dun wan to engage with an argument so I wanted to proceed with dispensing. Standard procedure, check identity and check allergy.

me: "can I just check ur IC number? just say it will do"
him: "dunno la dunno la"

okay, i cant ascertain his identity, alternative is ask for address but I guess he'll still "dunno la". fine, I tried to be firm with him, save my time save his time.

me: "i cant dispense if u dun wan to tell me ur IC number"
he finally took out his IC to let me check.
him: "you think i'm so hard up for the meds? all these meds I know, pain killer and antibiotics (he pronounced antibiotics wrongly k... and he says he knows...)

me: "can I go on with dispensing?"
forgot wat he said
me: "do you have any drug allergy?"
him: "dunno la dunno la"

okay fine! i took it as a NO cos if he has allergy, he'll prob say "XXX!!! cant u see in ur record?"

okay... went on with dispensing. I could not give a full counselling cos totally feels like if I said somemore, he'll eat me up.

and in between i heard him say "i'm not like other patients you know, I cant wait"

ermz. seriously, I dunno who are u. (even if i noe, am I supposed to show you special treatment, gif u sweets?)

by the way, 30 minute processing by the pharmacy was quite reasonable, probably abit better than average. I think he probably clocked the time at the instant the doctor said "you can go home today".

so the millions of processes in between the 2 hours, all come down to me at the receiving end, me being the innocent pre-reg pharmacist who was told to dispense something IMMEDIATELY. I put down everything I was doing, and was accused of taking my own sweet time. my guess was that the nurses took their time too, and despatch thru portering, and only received by pharmacy some time later.

these patients may have fantacised that there is a robotic dispensing machine beside the doctor when he prescribed the discharge meds, so that the meds can be ready at the same time the doctor say "you can go home"

FAINT

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Viva today. failed OP out of RP, PP and OP. okay la, quite normal to fail. the usual 1st class honours ppl passed everything, including prof phua haha! :P

soooooooooo many things to do

finally finished my Drug Profile, felt that it was horrigible :S but good that i wun have another presentation until next year for Inpatient and Project presentation :)

time to focus on Viva :( and after Viva is Stock take, and shattered our dream of gg to Night Safari to celebrate the completion of Viva... Heard that some ppl do stock take until midnight :S

then will be the CNS test... then i think there'll be another Viva again... plus all the Inpatient things which I heard about...

Shit i tink i'll flunk Viva...............

i tink i'm just holding on to pre-reg because I think i got nothing better to do :S i'm so... predictable and such a __________ (fill in the blank). i dunno what i want....

GRRR

I dun like inflexible management, which makes all of us soooo irritated...

wanna start a campaign liaoz: "Prereggers are humans too" (inspired by peiting :P )

and 可怜的 Attachee had to become a chauffeur and rush his dinner. :(

Alexandra Hospital DND and GE Run

quite fun to all dress up together ahah

Pre-reggers

The Chinese Empire

The theme was "Fairy tales and Fables" haha. I think our chinese empire is abit special, cos almost all those who dress up came from Disneyland :P

and again, i din win anything at the Luckydraw.

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This year Great Eastern run was the only "run" i walked in. the weather was soooooooooo humid i buay tahan. and this year got many casualties. Think it's cos of the bad weather again.

ran with Yokes, LC and Yinting :) very long nv talk to Yinting and she still keep msging and toking on the phone :P

Sunday shift -_-

going to do my H1 shift tmr :(

I got the sense of dread of gg back to work tmr.

additional factor is cos of the long working hours (10 to 3.30pm with no break) and the staffing (only 3 staff) with normal load.

can be qt scary!

I'm gg to buy Ensure packet to drink for meal replacement sia...

Grumbles & complaints

i hate it when...

1. "u really sure u so busy meh?"
--> i wouldn't be lying. i really very much wish that the reverse is true.

2. "huh, u really so busy ah? u work until so late? and no OT? then still got so many things to do after work?"
--> i noe how tough is it. u dun have to rub salt into my wound.

so many of such comments ever since i started working. i think i better make it clear. it's much appreciated if u gimme positive feedbacks and motivational tools (e.g. chocs) and not do the above 2.

i'm drowning in work....

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view--until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - To Kill a Mockingbird

Post #200: Happy 3 months :)

I think all girls like surprises haha. :)

Attachee wanted to meet me at another MRT exit today and i smelt a rat already, but forgot abt it after a while.

Then after that we went to PS to catch Wall-E. When we entered PS,

Attachee: i wan to go toilet to shit. think will be quite long, you wait ok?
Me: wah okiez, why quite long? you got constipation ah?
Attachee: no la. i wan to go to the downstairs one, cos cleaner. (we were at 1st flr)
(so we went down to B1 which I tot it's his "downstairs")
Attachee: i go first ah
(he walked v quickly down the escalator to B2, so i tot his "downstairs" toilet is B2. so i juz took my time to walk down. went to a pillar and wanted to wait there, so i turned 180degrees. i saw another shadow behind me turn 180 degrees also. then i turned another direction and saw him)
Attachee: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! (pink rose in his hands)

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute right?

Clarification request from Attachee: he used the time he went to "shit" to buy the rose cos he dun have time to buy before that. He din bring out the rose from the toilet, neither did he kept the flower in his bag all along :P haha

Eva (from the Wall-E movie) looking at the rose and the movie tickets. the water was actually on the movie poster, not we put one.

Pink rose for the 3rd month!

Celebration Programme: Wall-E --> Swenson's --> Anderson Ice cream

XOXOXOXOXO

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not much updates from me, except i went to run Safra Bay Run last Sunday haha.
and i decided not to run another "Safra Bay Run" anymore...

Next up: Great Eastern Women's Run, Standard Chartered --> both 10km. i think i'm still not ready for 21km yet.

==================================================

Pre-regging... is still super tough. now my Saturdays are fulldays cos need to go nursing homes to do project. The Mandai one is not bad, the lady was SUPER nice and all the staff are nice. I'm abit scared of the Yishun one, cos got bad experiences with the staff :S

Update

Just to let you know, I'm not dead. I'm just too busy to blog

anw, i'm now doing my retail rotation, will be there until next week. Then after that I will be rotated around to Pharmacy-only meds for another 1 week which will be around the same area. Will not go on to tell u the rest of my rotation, i'll take years... haha, just ask me where i am if u plan to drop by :P haha!

really busy these days, waking up in the wee hours of the morning to attend talks and discussions as early as 5.30am (waking time); and means have to sleep early also. overwhelmed by the timeline filled with projects, assignments (clinical discussions and drug profile almost every week), readings, questions which I asked and then kena told "you go and find out", presentations, VIVAs x3, and finally the BOARD EXAM.

just had glulisine DP and communication skills CD today. went overtime till 6.45pm. and i proudly announce i did my first Smoking Cessation today. acty was because the pharmacists are too busy at Outpatient, so when I asked if anybody wants to do, they told me to do... so that's my "First Time". fumbled abit at first, then went on to assess and find out that acty he's not nicotine dependent, so cant sell him the nicotine-replacement gums. just like what they say u'll always rmb the first patient u dispensed to (doesn't happen to me, i dun rmb who i dispensed to in Yr 2), i think i wun forget who my first smoking cessation customer is, since Smoking Cessation counselling is longer than dispensing.

so i think u can understand why i gave up Mus'art last min, though I think it's totally very unprofessional as a musician... and also quite sianz for me to lose a chance to play a world premiere, play in esplanade, and take part in SIBF. but i dun regret giving up even if my reputation may be bad now. i really need the time.

other than work, I have a minimal amount of life, i.e. sometimes also go out with attachee (who said that meeting once a week not enuf so must increase abit more :P ) and other frenz who jio-ed me out like NUSWS (danK's bday), TTTG, Jiemeiz, and jogging with the pharmacists.

okiez. need to zzz liaoz. tmr got some audit talk at 8.30am...

Growing up

Sometimes when I was walking on the streets, I saw my dad walking past me (he nv see me, and I was too far to call out to him).

I realised that my dad is already quite old (white hair and not too good vision due to previous injuries). Like a sudden realisation. and I realised that, we being the "children" have already grown up. Another sudden realisation that I'll be working soon to support my parents.

Pre-regging: 16 Jun 2008 to 3 May 2009

Pay: not a secret --> $1700

bleahhh.

我们长大了，踏入社会了.